People come to therapy for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes it’s because life has thrown a major curveball at us or we’ve undergone a big transition, like changing jobs, starting school, having a child, losing a loved one, going through a break-up or divorce, just to name few. Sometimes things are going well on the surface in our lives, but inside we are suffering emotionally. Like a duck floating on a pond, we look like we’re serenely floating through life while paddling furiously underneath. Speaking aloud in a compassionate, accepting, and nonjudgemental therapeutic space can help us make sense of the tangle of emotions and thoughts we’ve been trying to deal with on our own.

Whatever has brought you to therapy, the most important thing will be making sure you and I are a good fit to work together. The page describes some of the issues I think I am most qualified to address, though it certainly does not encompass everything we might talk about. If I don’t think I am the right person to help you, I will try and give you resources to find another provider who can.

anxiety & depression: Thieves of joy

Our brains our problem-solving machines; that’s just what they evolved to do. Our minds worry, and worry, and worry, all in an effort to try and solve future problems. Our minds also review the past over and over again, in effort to try and protect us from similar situations in the future. Sometimes, anxiety can be adaptive and helpful - for example, you are more likely to prepare thoroughly for a test or a presentation if you are feeling some anxiety about doing well. Feeling anxious around a dangerous person or situation can also prompt you to leave or take action to keep yourself safe. But out-of-control anxiety doesn’t drive us towards these types of positive outcomes. Maladaptive anxiety often leaves us feeling paralyzed and unable to engage with the things in life we care about most. Social anxiety in particular can leave us feeling awkward and disconnected from others. Anxiety, and it’s close cousin depression, steals our joy.

In therapy we learn to identify and understand our anxious and depressive thoughts, and create a mindful space for them. We also work on skills that let you, no matter how much your anxious mind is chattering away, make the kind of choices you want to make.

Men’s Mental health

We live in a world that doesn’t always give space for men to feel and express their emotions. Suppressing emotions in order to fit a mold of toxic masculinity can have devastating effects on a man’s mental health and torpedo his relationships. In therapy, we can work together on undoing harmful messages you may have heard during your life about the kind of man you’re supposed to be, and instead define and embrace your true individual masculinity. Many men also benefit from working on improving communication skills, deepening empathy and compassion for themselves and others, and training in mindfulness skills.

alcohol use: it’s a spectrum

Are you questioning your relationship to alcohol? Do you notice yourself drinking more during times of stress? Do you find that you don’t consider an event fun, enjoyable or relaxing unless alcohol is involved? Using alcohol is highly normalized and pervasive in our culture. I offer you a non-judgmental space to explore the role of alcohol in your life and decide if it’s time to make a change. Alcohol use occurs along a spectrum; problematic use looks different for different people. You certainly don’t have to hit “rock bottom” or wait for things to be “bad enough” to decide you’d like to make a change.

I take a harm reduction approach and do not subscribe to the view that you must become abstinent in order for your therapy to considered a success. Cutting back or modifying alcohol use can have a hugely positive impact on your life. For some people, total abstinence is the best and healthiest choice, especially in cases of severe addiction. If that’s the case for you, know that you don’t have to “white knuckle” your way through sobriety. You can find ease and peace in this new way of living. I can also support you in therapy if you are using substances other than alcohol, are part of a 12-step community, or are receiving any medication assisted treatments under the care of a physician.

other issues i work with

Clients in therapy with me have also found success in addressing self-criticism/perfectionism, job burnout/compassion fatigue, and building assertiveness skills/boundary setting. I also work well with family members who have a loved one with a mental health or substance use disorder. If you’re not sure exactly what you need, you just know you need help, then reach out for a free phone consultation and let’s talk.